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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

It's true what they say never leave home without clean undies or in my case just have some on

Was thinking back to the time when in high school you sometimes went commando & didn't wear undies. Several of us did this often & to be perfectly honest I'm not sure why? Especially in my case when I had an incident where I'd lent my white guess to jeans to a friend & when she returned then I noticed nothing wrong with them.... I wore them to school a few days later & since they were white decided to go commando instead of digging for the beige undies that were usually in the bottom of my drawer. I can still remember plain as day sitting in class & hearing one of my friends proclaim my "muff" was showing. I remember looking down & seeing that the zipper in my beloved jeans was busted & this kids was before waxing or the brazilian. So had to make a quick trip home to fix that situation. Then there was the time when we were practicing for graduation & I think the whole senior class was in the band room that day.... I had on a cute lil skirt & was prancing around waving like a crazed politician(who knows) & I felt a nice breeze come upon me.... I heard tons of yelling & laughing going on & thought man I'm really cracking this bunch up! Much to my surprise my skirt was pulled up around my stomach & this time I at least had a thong on. Now mind you it was small but at least this time my "muff" was covered. Can't say the same for my booty though. Seriously about choked the life out of the girl that did that one. Being "pantsed" was big back then & she didn't realize how little I had on. Of course, you think I would have learned from those 2 incidents but not me! That summer I had been to a friends to spend the night & woke up in a hurry to get home & shower to get ready for work. I jumped up threw on my sweats & took off in a mad dash. Again no undies or a bra... Daring I know! It was warm so I had the windows down. Mistake number 1... I hate bugs & a green fly happened to fly in my window. Me being the skilled driver I was I thought I could keep the car on the road & turn all the way to the backseat & kill the sob... Mistake number 2,I guess I forgot I really wasn't that great of a driver. I almost had him when I turned back to the front to see how I was looking on the road & realized I was like Laura Ingalls bobbing along in her wagon on the rough terrain except I wasn't Laura & I was in a cavalier going down a huge embankment! Did I mention I had just found out I was pregnant? So once the wagon i mean cavalier came to a stop, I jumped out of the car, climbed up the embankment to have a lil old woman stop & pick me up to take me to get help. She would not let me ride in the front with her though. Guess I looked like I might have robbed her of all her peppermints. So I was transported later by ambulance to the hospital where upon arrival I had a male nurse waiting to check me out... I wasn't very far along with tay yet & they wanted to do an ultrasound to check. My mind was wandering in fear worrying for the baby but also because again I had failed to wear undies. The male nurse informed me he was going to have to pull down my sweats & undies to do an ultrasound....when I informed him he wouldn't be doing that to me as I had none on & didn't think it was a good idea he assured me he'd seen it all before. I politely assured him he may had seen it all before but he hadn't nor would he ever see mine. Finally I decided it was probably in the baby's best interest to have the ultrasound & of course almost 18 years later she's fine. So the moral of this story kids is always keep your muff covered with clean or at this point even dirty undies:)

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